The Kids Good Manners DVD Aims To Teach Children Manners

by Angela Davis

(WCCO)

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A new DVD aims to teach children good manners.

Kids Good Manners

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Have you ever been around a kid with bad manners? Something to see isn’t it? Well, a Twin Cities man decided to do something to help parents teach their kids good manners. He created a teaching tool, a DVD devoted to showing children exactly how they should and shouldn’t behave.

The video brings to life all those little reminders you probably got from your mom and dad or your grandmother. Stuff like, “Cover your mouth when you sneeze and say please and thank you.” Apparently, a lot of us haven’t done a very good job of teaching that stuff to our own children.

Ira Hackner, of Golden Valley, Minn., teamed up with a Savage, Minn. couple, Liz Bonello and Jeff Freund, to write and produce a script. Then they hired child actors to demonstrate various scenarios.

It’s called “Kids Good Manners” and it covers everything from kindness to cleanliness, and things like table manners, phone skills and good sportsmanship. The creators are hoping parents will watch it with their kids and then talk with them about the messages. It’s all very practical stuff.

“It is not cool to be rude, but some kids think it is. And actually in this DVD, I think we come across like it is great to have good manners. You can still be popular, bright, you’re well-adjusted. And you can learn how to behave in so many situations,” Hackner said.

On the DVD, children take part in a trivia contest where they try to guess the right answer to a question about appropriate behavior. Here’s an example of a question that is posed by the host.

“Dave is having dinner with his family, but he is eating and talking. We can clearly see that his mouth is open. What rule is Dave breaking? Is it, (A) He is eating too fast? (B) Chewing food and talking (C) Dave is not breaking any rules at all.”

Hackner, who is the father of a 4-year-old boy and a software consultant, said he witnessed enough kids with bad manners to know that something like this was needed. The DVD is intended for kids as young as 3 and as old as teenagers. The creators have shown it to school teachers, day care providers, parents and friends. They say the feedback has been great.

“‘We hear from a lot of grandparents, going, ‘Gosh this is great because it is lost on this last generation.’ There are so many influences that they are bombarded with that give the wrong impression of behavior,” Hackner said.

There is also a Web site you can access to learn more about teaching kids good manners. It is www.kidsgoodmanners.com. From the site, you can order the DVD, though unfortunately, not immediately. They are still a couple weeks away from having the DVD ready for distribution. It will sell for about $10.

(© MMVII, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)

Manners for Kids (and Parents)

Elbows on the table, back talk, and trips to the rest room — how are the kids doing when it comes to the social graces? Teach your kids how to behave at the dinner table and when they’re out with friends, with these articles, tips, and advice. Are you well trained in the ways of etiquette? Find out with this Table Manners quiz!

Manners Matter

Teaching kids manners may seem like an uphill battle, but don’t despair. These tips and resources can help.

• Nine Steps to Good Manners

• Five Bad Behavior Busters

• Perfect Pigs: An Introduction to Manners

• Your Child’s Behavior Away from Home

• Dealing with the Disabled

• Dealing with the Visually Impaired

• Teaching Your Toddler to Share

• The Magic Words: Teaching Your Toddler Manners

Table Manners

Teaching kids good table manners can be tough. Take the easy route and follow these tips to improve not only your child’s manners, but your own at the dinner table.

• Ten Common Dining Mistakes

• Table Manners: Frequently Asked Questions

• Eating with Elegance

• Braving the Buffet Properly

• Facing a Formal Dinner Gracefully

• Dining Out: Tricky Situations

• Dining Customs of Different Cultures

• More on Etiquette

Meeting, Greeting, and More

Read tips on properly handling introductions and greetings with others.

• Handling Introductions Properly

• How to Handle Introductions Gracefully

• Business Rules for Meeting and Greeting

• Gracious Greetings Between Cultures

• Kids’ Relations with Adults

• Writing Letters: The Letter Format

• Invitations: Sending and Receiving

Gift Giving

Read tips on giving, receiving, and thanking for gifts.

• Gift Ideas for Special People and Special Occasions

• Children and Gift Giving

• The Gift Quiz

• Teaching Children the Art of Correspondence

Compliments, Insults, and Bad News

Learn how to give compliments and criticizm properly and find tips on dealing with other’s bad news.

• Delivering Criticism Smoothly

• Perfecting the Art of the Compliment

• Dealing with Bad News Gracefully

• How to Handle Difficult Conversations

What Parents Should Know
Families can talk about manners of course, and they can practice. They might also enjoy discussing the manners of different cultures and why different behaviors are acceptable in different places. As each page presents a new scene and a new story, parents can talk with kids about what is going on and why having manners might help the situation. What would happen, for instance, if people really ate like the kids in the pictures. Why does it help to use napkins and utensils rather than our hands? Why is it better not to smack, chomp, burp or talk with food in your mouth? They can practice phone manners and the proper way to meet new people. They can discuss how people act at the movies and why it is important to be quiet. And what about sportsmanship? Have spectators, players or coaches ever ruined one of their games with rude behavior? What would have been a better way to act?

oungsters Can Learn Proper Table Manners that Dazzle
Your youngsters may know how to sit still, use a napkin, and how to cut with a knife and fork, but do they really know proper table manners? The holidays, weddings, anniversary celebrations, school dances, and other social events are prime occasions for kids to demonstrate appropriate table manners. However, far too many parents somehow assume that their kids will know how to act, what to do (and not to do), and how to exhibit proper table manners–only to be embarrassed by a youngster’s double-dipping, slurping, or demonstrations of finger-lickin’ good! You’ve taught them most everything they know up to now, so take time and teach them table manners basics that will dazzle at the next occasion. Here’s how to get started: * Teach kids how to greet relatives and guests. Many kids simply don’t know what to say or the appropriate action to take. If the occasion is at your home or you’re serving as host, instruct your kids about properly opening the door and taking any coats. (Show them how to hold them and not to roll them up in a wad.) Teach them how to properly shake hands and how to appropriately hug relatives, especially elderly or individuals with disabilities.

* If you’re serving appetizers, ask your youngsters to act as a host/hostess. Instruct them what to ask, how to not interrupt conversations, and to tell them what the choice is. If they are on the receiving end of an offering of hors d’oeuvres, be sure to tell them how to say hors du’oeuvres and what it means to avoid the normal kid reaction of “what’s that?” Instruct them how to take one or how to graciously refuse. If it is an item that sounds unappetizing to a kid’s palate (and many do), tell them to simply decline without offering any commentary about how it looks, smells, or seems to taste.

* At the table, show them how to pull out a seat for a guest and to hold it and help them scoot to the table. Boys can do this for ladies or girls, and boys or girls can do the same for older guests as a sign of respect.

* Teach kids how to place the napkin in the lap and how to sit up straight and near the table. Be sure to let youngsters know not to plop their elbows on the table.

* Practice table manners such as passing food, asking for something rather than reaching across the table to get it (and risk spilling a drink or worse), and to take only as much as they know they’ll eat. The proper table manners protocol is to pass food from left to right (counterclockwise).

* Talk with kids about how tables are set up, where forks, knives and spoons go, why sometimes there are utensils above the plates and what particular order means (using the outside utensil first). Emphasize that proper table manners are for everyone to be served and the host/hostess to pick up a fork to begin eating.

* Talk about the no-no’s of “double-dipping,” slurping, licking fingers, or the ever-tempting dragging a finger across the side of an item to taste it (i.e. icing on the cake).

* Practice sitting up straight and not hunched over, and remind them to bring food from their plate to their mouth and not hunker down over it.

* Explain bread etiquette and how bread plates are positioned to the upper left of a dinner plate. Kids need to learn not to butter the entire piece of bread; rather, butter is placed on the bread place, and then a bite-sized piece is to be buttered only. Explain how some breads are to be “torn off” with your hands while other types may need to be cut. Younger kids won’t be apt to understand the differences, but older ones should be able to make a distinction.

* Practice napkin use about how they should wipe their mouth appropriately, and where to put the napkin if they need to get up or go to the bathroom.

* Offer your kids some conversation ideas, and be sure to emphasize that they are not to talk with their mouths full or too stuff too much in their mouth, or chomp with their mouths open, or other disgusting kid habits. Kids should be reminded to eat slowly and to not gobble down their food.

* Use utensils and only eat with fingers if it is meant to be eaten with fingers. Explain to youngsters the difference, and how french fries are even meant to be eaten with a fork and dipped into ketchup rather than with hands during certain occasions.

* Tell kids to always thank the cook for the delicious meal–even if it wasn’t to your youngsters. Someone put forth an effort, and kids should be taught to find at least one or two things they did like, and to praise those items in particular.

* Kids should stay seated until the dinner is concluded or until there becomes an obvious point where kids are being excused and going elsewhere so that adults can linger.

* Adults should set the stage for success through practice. A “fancy table” can be set up at home and kids can ask questions and practice so that they are comfortable and familiar enough to wow everyone with their great table manners when it truly counts!

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